Merry Christmas Co Co!

Christmas will never be the same with out you here. It doesn't feel right or normal. and to be honest i HATED it. I didn't hate Christmas I hated that you weren't here. Its not fair. I was sitting there Christmas eve and just started bawling... I miss you and I wished more than anything you could be here with us. Christmas eve and Christmas day came with many many tears this year for all of us. I never thought the day would come that I would shed a tear on this day but it happened and I felt like it was ok. It was ok because you weren't there we all had every right to cry and be sad! Oh how I wish you were still here hanging out with us on the couch, eating breakfast with us girls and mom and dad, opening presents on Christmas eve, getting annoyed my all of cads piano playing, laughing with us, giving me a big Christmas hug, relieving mom by helping with all the food( you were our own personal cook), helping the little boys with their new toys, laughing with us as macks and marley played with otis for hours(i hope you saw from heaven and were smiling), and just plain and simple being there with us. Life isn't the same with out you and it never will be. I have officially decided tears are now ok on Christmas. I love you big brother and miss you like crazy not a day goes by we don't miss you! I hope you are at peace in heaven. There are so many things I still want to know all the answers to, but I need to be patient I know one day I will be able to understand. I hope you cooked one heck of a prime rib in heaven... ours wasn't the same with out your touch, although mom and dad did a FABULOUS job!! I will forever love you Co co! Merry Christmas big brother we sure missed you!